Clever Title Incorporating Name Of Film in Question

I would like to make one thing clear to those of you who may be wondering about Snakes On A Plane: it is a gore flick first and a campy action movie a distant, distant second.

In expecting a campy action movie I was expecting scene after scene of contrived tension carried to absurd ends. What I saw last night was some writer’s list of horrible ways to die, most but not all of them snake-related. The deaths are mostly governed by standard horror film ethics: anyone having sex, doing drugs, or being unpleasant in a stereotypical way is doomed to a gruesome fate.

When an anonymous plane denizen is trampled and dies of a high heel embedded in his ear, it’s time to leave. I didn’t enjoy such unnecessary brutality in Saw II or Hostel, and no amount of internet meme frenzy could convince me that Snakes was worth sitting through.