Less Rebounding Than Sniping

SingleStat.us is eBay sniping for relationships. You tell it to watch a MySpace profile and it tells you when the relationship status has changed. The idea, of course, is that you’ll be the first to know when the person you’ve had your eye on leaves his or her boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/polygamist household/etc.

What a boon. Gone are the days of actually having to feign occasional conversation to find out if that special someone you want to shtup has left whatever assuredly incompetent, worthless person they’ve oh-so-temporarily decided to shack up with. Why wait to ask leading questions about her availability when you can be positively mercenary about the whole affair? It’s the NSA approach to hooking up.

All sarcasm aside, I’m disgusted not only that this service exists but that prominent community blogs like TechCrunch were so quick to link to it. Some people are worried about the privacy implications of Web 2.0, that our identities are being commodified. When I see services like this I’m worried that our identities aren’t worth commodifying. Do you think you can build a valuable, lasting customer relationship with someone who’s eager enough for the next hot thing that she’d use SingleStat.us? It’s the very metric of shallowness, fickleness, vanity, and hubris.

Not unsettled yet? Take a look at the people being monitored and note the steady stream of married men and women. If this was all college kids looking to see when week-long campus romances had dissolved, that’d be one thing. But the idea that nothing, not a serious commitment, not even a ring on a finger will dissuade some people from their pursuits and obsessions is deeply disturbing to me.

Maybe it didn’t take Web 2.0 to commodify our identities—and our sexuality. Maybe we’ve always been ready to swoop in and “buy up” the desirables around us.