al3x’s San Francisco Neighborhood Guide

A net-friend is moving to San Francisco and wants to know where to live. This is what I offered:

I live in Castro because that’s where I happened to find a place. The Castro is full of well-manicured homes and well-manicured men. It’s very safe and there’s some good food but it gets old fast.

I spend a lot of time in the Mission. Hipsters hang out in the Mission because it has character (ie, is crippled by systemic poverty) and it isn’t that expensive. I hang out there because the best coffee place I’ve found in the city (Ritual on 21st and Valencia) is there, and it’s a nice walk from Castro. You probably don’t want to live in the Mission, but the areas on either side of it are interesting. There are some nice new gentrifer lofts towards the back end of Mission, way down 15th and 16th past the auto repair places.

I really like the Inner Sunset, where all the UCSF kids live. It’s quiet, it’s right next to Golden Gate Park, and it’s full of yummy asian food. Locals tell me it’s “too far from the action” and such, but that’s all relative. Richmond has a similar pleasant sleepiness but lacks the student presence, making it almost exclusively an asian enclave.

Downtown pretty much sucks out loud. Business types and tourists turing the day, hobos and drunk tourists in the evening. I only go downtown for a couple of music venues, and even then it kills me a little inside.

SoMA (South of MArket) is gentrifying more quickly than Mission, most likely because it has more unused industrial space and a less dense population. If you’re after the my-loft-is-a-converted-warehouse urban experience it’s the place for you.

Don’t live in the Haight. Maybe Lower Haight. Maybe. I find it interminable.

Hayes Valley is the chic boutique neighborhood. Very small, and from what I gather very pricey. It’s undeniably nice, though.

I also, despite what most locals say, like North Beach. It’s known for Italian restaurants and strip clubs, but there’s a number of blocks that are just quaint, nice apartments. It borders Chinatown, too.

That’s most of the neighborhoods I’ve got a handle on after a month. Don’t make my mistake and play tourist 24/7 for weeks on end (if you have a real full-time job that shouldn’t be an issue). I’ve already lost my patience with this city and I’m eager to move again; fortunately I’ll have that opportunity soon. It’s an okay town, but (as it was described to me) it’s precious.