Signals

You’re not sending the right signals. Smile more. Open up the body language. Flirt.

If you’re trying to do these things but are instead sending CLOSED, DO NOT APPROACH, maybe there’s a reason. Something going on in the subconscious, something predestining your social interactions by changing the subtle tics and postures you’re probably not aware of, to the end of warding off interactions with those around you. We can be our own worst social enemy.

Maria sat to my left minutes ago. Music collection Maria. iTunes-chatting Maria. Maria I promised I would to talk to, regardless of the circumstances, if I were ever so lucky to encounter her again.
Not the case, it turns out.

I learned, years ago, to watch these “self-defeating” behaviors and poll them for clues into the subconscious. Am I really serious about moving somewhere else? Well then, no sense in getting involved where I am now. Better to keep it simple, stay alone, nothing holding me back. Might as well loosen up ties with friends in the area while I’m at it. The subconscious, it appears, is dead serious. Good to know.

Something’s changing. I had one of the most amazing experiences of my life this past Sunday night (too mired to context to share in detail here). A few weeks ago I couldn’t sleep because a smile at the very possibility of life kept me awake like a streetlight streaming through my bedroom window. Now that has refined into a focus, a clarity, a sense of purpose, an LED cutting through starless night.