Excruciatingly Geeky Situational Joke

You’re playing Magic: The Gathering, preferably in a group, and with your significant other. You wait until your SO takes his/her turn and plays a reasonably good card, the sort of thing one might counterspell. You say: “In response, I will tap [beat] that ass!” Options to sell the gag include actually slapping the posterior of your SO, simply letting the line stand, or breaking into a sprint to avoid the inevitable beating you’ll receive from said SO. The lattermost is advisable. Do not attempt if relationship with SO is tentative or you’re trying to teach them Magic (these two conditions are likely correlated).

My apologies for the painfully geeky nature of this gag. I assure you, if you’re even an occasional Magic player it’s hilarious. It almost makes me wish I had a girl who played, again, just so I could try it out. Of course, as self-demonstrated, anybody still playing Magic at college age has serious social problems and should be sent to a leper colony or something of that ilk.

At least I don’t own any cards.